Surfin' On Something

In two years I've had two sets of unneeded drama on Livejournal. Both times friends were lost. Fun, I swear.

I was told that the past few years [with me] have been a complete waste of time. Though he told me he wasn't sure if he meant it when I asked him what he was implying by that statement, it still hurt. A lot. Basically the gist of the conversation was that I've turned into a tool, he's not the only one who feels that way, and he's not sure if he wants to continue being friends.

I asked another friend if I've changed, and she said I have a bit, but it was a change for the better. Since I've come out I've been more fun. So I really don't know... I think that my friend hates my journal and not me. Granted I write it, I just think I come off different (as everyone does to some extent) online. I don't know. I really don't know where to go from here. When I told him that I've scrapped my journal due to the drama, he went offline and hasn't been online since. So yeah.

He told me that he misses how things used to be. I do too. I told that kid everything, and now I'm sitting here slowing breaking away at the fact that we might not be friends anymore.

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Anyways... I have a wake to go to tomorrow, and a funeral to go to the following day. I really, really don't feel like breaking down to tears in the next few days. Does that make me selfish? I don't want it to make me selfish.

I want to do something stupid. I want to get a piercing, or a tattoo, or smoke a lot of pot. I'll probably go with the latter. But probably not.